Today we had the full day to explore Hoi An. We decided to start the day with a bicycle ride to the beach. It’s about 20 minutes by bike so not to far. We hired the bicycles and set off. The roads here are a lot quieter than Hanoi but still crazy busy by home standards. Mostly scooters motorbikes and buses all hoping that chaos theory will get them home.
It seems appropriate at this point to explain the title. Both Crispy and LynNZ are ladies of a certain age. It has always been obvious to me that Crispy suffers from IEG. A very disquieting affliction. it is now obvious that it is a condition that runs in the family. LynNZ also has this strange complaint. IEG (Involuntary Expulsion of Gas) can strike at any point and is brought on by any sudden unusual movement. Climbing stairs, bending to pick up a fallen object or indeed mounting a bicycle. You can see where this is going. Last night on returning to the digs, which is the second floor of a private house, just as LynNZ was negotiating the spiral staircase and Crispys face was in direct communication with the offending weapon she suffered a dramatic episode of IEG. Being fuelled by alcohol the incident caused fits of giggling that persisted for minutes. The house was silent before this unfortunate occurrence and I am surprised our hosts didn’t run to our aid and suggest a doctor or street cleaner.
LynNZ hasn’t been on a bicycle for 20 years and it was a big ask to require her to pedal her way through the chaos to the beach. She did amazing. After the first few minutes of cautious progression she was off like a Tour de France professional. I am sure that there were several incidents of IEG during the journey but I was not witness to them.
We cycled to the vegetable garden. A community syndicate that demonstrates traditional farming techniques whilst growing a myriad of local vegetables, herbs and spices.
It was very interesting to see but we avoided the indignity of having to wear traditional garb whilst watering, digging or planting the next crop. We saw several tour groups undergoing this strange humiliation but we managed to avoid the “guides” and just watched from a safe distance.
Had it been a real farm I would readily have volunteered the girls for a few hours in the paddy fields,in return for a few dong to boost our kitty, whilst I carried onto the beach.
We continued together along the highway past farms and paddy fields to An Bang beach. The closest beach to Hoi An. On arrival we were met by touts offering to park our bicycles whilst we went to swim. At first I thought this was another scam and gleefully waved them away until we reached the Police checkpoint. We dismounted and tried to push our bikes past the sentry box but were soon hailed by the aggressive officer who shouted “No,No. park bike there”. We had to push the bikes back to the parking lot and pay more dong than it had cost to hire the bikes just to park them for a couple of hours. The beach is nice. Golden sands, great waves and shallow for a good distance out into the surf. We bought beds (more dong) and settled in for a swim and chill session.
There is a lot of construction work being carried out along the beach and like Hoi An itself will soon
Be unrecognisable as Vietnamese. It will fade away be no different from Thailand, Bali, Goa or any other package tourist destination. The package tourist is at once the saviour of communities but the nemesis of culture.
To any aspiring adventurers I would urge you to do it now. The lonely planet is shrinking fast.
After lunch we stayed for a few hours before cycling back to Hoi An. We cycled in through “walking and cycling town” . An area that we had not seen last night. It is beautiful. The area around the Japanese bridge is pedestrianised and full of shops cafes and restaurants. A world away from the riverside around the night market.
That evening we decided to eat there and see it at night.after a shower and change we set out and had a lovely evening of eating, a few beers, and chatting.
I am glad to report there were no further incidents of IEG..and we got home safe and sound
Tomorrow I have arranged a shuttle bus to take us back through Danang to Hue. Our next port of call
Bare, Crispy and Windy LynNZ, signing off Hoi An, 🇻🇳
It seems appropriate at this point to explain the title. Both Crispy and LynNZ are ladies of a certain age. It has always been obvious to me that Crispy suffers from IEG. A very disquieting affliction. it is now obvious that it is a condition that runs in the family. LynNZ also has this strange complaint. IEG (Involuntary Expulsion of Gas) can strike at any point and is brought on by any sudden unusual movement. Climbing stairs, bending to pick up a fallen object or indeed mounting a bicycle. You can see where this is going. Last night on returning to the digs, which is the second floor of a private house, just as LynNZ was negotiating the spiral staircase and Crispys face was in direct communication with the offending weapon she suffered a dramatic episode of IEG. Being fuelled by alcohol the incident caused fits of giggling that persisted for minutes. The house was silent before this unfortunate occurrence and I am surprised our hosts didn’t run to our aid and suggest a doctor or street cleaner.
LynNZ hasn’t been on a bicycle for 20 years and it was a big ask to require her to pedal her way through the chaos to the beach. She did amazing. After the first few minutes of cautious progression she was off like a Tour de France professional. I am sure that there were several incidents of IEG during the journey but I was not witness to them.
We cycled to the vegetable garden. A community syndicate that demonstrates traditional farming techniques whilst growing a myriad of local vegetables, herbs and spices.
It was very interesting to see but we avoided the indignity of having to wear traditional garb whilst watering, digging or planting the next crop. We saw several tour groups undergoing this strange humiliation but we managed to avoid the “guides” and just watched from a safe distance.
Had it been a real farm I would readily have volunteered the girls for a few hours in the paddy fields,in return for a few dong to boost our kitty, whilst I carried onto the beach.
We continued together along the highway past farms and paddy fields to An Bang beach. The closest beach to Hoi An. On arrival we were met by touts offering to park our bicycles whilst we went to swim. At first I thought this was another scam and gleefully waved them away until we reached the Police checkpoint. We dismounted and tried to push our bikes past the sentry box but were soon hailed by the aggressive officer who shouted “No,No. park bike there”. We had to push the bikes back to the parking lot and pay more dong than it had cost to hire the bikes just to park them for a couple of hours. The beach is nice. Golden sands, great waves and shallow for a good distance out into the surf. We bought beds (more dong) and settled in for a swim and chill session.
There is a lot of construction work being carried out along the beach and like Hoi An itself will soon
Be unrecognisable as Vietnamese. It will fade away be no different from Thailand, Bali, Goa or any other package tourist destination. The package tourist is at once the saviour of communities but the nemesis of culture.
To any aspiring adventurers I would urge you to do it now. The lonely planet is shrinking fast.
After lunch we stayed for a few hours before cycling back to Hoi An. We cycled in through “walking and cycling town” . An area that we had not seen last night. It is beautiful. The area around the Japanese bridge is pedestrianised and full of shops cafes and restaurants. A world away from the riverside around the night market.
That evening we decided to eat there and see it at night.after a shower and change we set out and had a lovely evening of eating, a few beers, and chatting.
I am glad to report there were no further incidents of IEG..and we got home safe and sound
Tomorrow I have arranged a shuttle bus to take us back through Danang to Hue. Our next port of call
Bare, Crispy and Windy LynNZ, signing off Hoi An, 🇻🇳
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