All aboard for elephantine island

It’s the last day of our amazing adventure. Up early, breakfast and back towards the Gateway of India and Elephantine jetty. Mumbai (Bombay) like any Indian city requires an adaptation period of at least 12 hours. It’s unlike anywhere else on the planet. Crazy, bewildering, chaotic. No words can summarise it. We have travelled through India many times but no matter how many times you come here it’s still overpowering when you first arrive. We have our Ghandi sandals on now and are back in the swing.

I’m sat outside the digs in a tiny back alley and there are fireworks and gunfire all around. Not little fireworks but chock off ones and numerous bursts of small arms fire. I’ve just asked someone what is going on thinking that a war has started without our knowledge and at any moment tanks are going to roll through the streets. Crispy is on the bed with her eyepod, she’s used to it and hasn’t even asked what’s going on. It turns out it is a “small” festival venerating some obscure god or goddess. Feck knows but I hope they stop shooting the sky soon as we have an early start.

We made our way to the jetty behind the Gateway to India and bought tickets for the ferry. It’s a 10km boat ride to elephantine island on boats that look as if they should have been decommissioned twenty years ago. Each packed to capacity with Indian holidaymakers and day trippers. This stretch of coast is one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world and as such is not the crystal clear waters that you would expect of the Arabian Sea. To look at it I would rather go swimming in the Leeds and Liverpool canal than jump in here. Grey green and choppy. The ferry boat was rising and falling 3 feet against the jetty steps and you have to time your step onto the boat with precision. We boarded without incident and took our seats. We had the obligatory photo shoot with a few people on the boat and settled down for the trip. If the number of times you have your photograph taken by complete strangers qualified you for celebrity status then we must be in the top 10 of the rich and famous.
It starts with one or two people milling about, sly selfies with you whilst trying not to let you see that they are doing it. Then the more adventurous will ask “photo” and as soon as you agree a queue forms and your goosed for the next 20 minutes. We estimate we must have had in excess of 100 photos in the last 3 days. Christ knows why.
The boat trip was nice out from Mumbai past the naval dockyards, Tanker holding are and gas refuelling plants. After an hour we arrived at the island. Elephantine island is a network of cave temples built over 1000 years ago into the basalt rock. When the Portuguese took Mumbai they used it as astrategic military base and garrisoned troops here. In there wisdom the used the ancient sculptures and carvings inside the caves for target practice and no original statues remain intact.
They named the island Elephantine because a huge carved elephant stood on the shore. When the British took Mumbai off them we tried to move this enormous sculpture to London but broke it to bits in the process. What remains of it now graces a small park in the centre of Mumbai.
The caves were crawling with the little furry feckers but they kept their distance so all was well.

We strode around the caves and forest paths before grabbing some lunch and heading back. The last boat leaves the island at 17:30 so we left at 1700 just to be sure we got back in readiness for tomorrow.
As stated when we first arrived our digs are up a tiny back alley in and obscure part of the city.
We made our way to the taxi rank and had no luck trying to find a taxi that knew our address.
We must have tried 10 drivers before one agreed to take us home. After a few minutes it was obvious he didn’t know where he was going and started suggesting we pay him the fare and walk the rest of the way. Crispy was having none of it she informed him to take us home or stop the taxi and let us out. He tried to argue but Crispy was having none of it. It was an interesting exchange but as always Crispy won and we got out without paying him. He drove off disgruntled knowing that he had been bettered. After a few more attempts we found a taxi that was on “naval business” and he agreed to take us home before picking up the next naval officer. Home and sorted, backpacks packed and out for tea. Our time here is at an end. We have loved Mumbai and it has done its job in splitting the flights but the wheel turns and it is time to go home to Crispy HQ.

Bare and Crispy, signing off Mumbai, India 🇮🇳

The Gateway to India.

Everything always looks better in the day time. We awoke after a great nights sleep. It’s humid here and warm.  As in most subtropical places the beds always feel damp. They arn’t They just feel it. It’s something you get used too. The owner of the house, James, is fashion designer who has worked a lot in Europe. I think he is mostly retired now and runs a fashion shop upstairs at the premises. We haven’t been up yet but I’m sure Crispy will have a look around at some point
In the morning the James and his assistant, Pandu, made breakfast. Bacon and eggs made with real bacon.
A few other travellers are staying here so we discussed our travels over the morning meal.
There are not a huge amount of sights to see here but it is a part of India we have never been and the cheap flights home from here made it a perfect jumping off point.
We ordered an Uber (£1:20) to take us to Victoria terminus. The old central train station of colonial India. The Fort area is close by. We wandered the streets looking at the shops and street sellers on our way to the Gateway to India.  On a street market Crispy noticed a barbers shed and insisted I get a haircut and shave. Not to upset her and to look my best I agreed and had a first class cut throat razor shave and haircut, plus head and facial massage for the princely sum of 80 pence. Crispy said I now look even more gorgeous than before. We made our way to The Gateway to India on Elephant Key. The Gateway was built to commemorate the first royal visit by a monarch to India in 1911. However the arch wasn’t built till 1913 and at the time a paper model was erected to show them what it would look like. Also the last British troops to leave India, the Suffolk light infantry, left through the gate in 1948 when India gained independence.
It’s impressive and very busy with mostly Indian tourists on a day out. We sat for a while to marvel at its size and were suddenly mobbed by a crowd of people all wanting their photograph taken with dear old Crispy. The same thing happens every time we are in India. It wasn’t just a few people there was a crowd of them. They were even forming orderly queues. No one was photographing the Gate they were all too busy with Crispy.
The other reason for visiting the gate was to work out how we catch a ferry to Elephanta Island tomorrow. The Elephanta Caves are on the island and are another must see sight..
We catch a 1 hour ferry (which looked very overloaded) to and island and spend a while looking around ancient cave temples. There are unfortunately no Elephants there anymore. We intend to do this tomorrow. We had a stroll around Caldera and Fort before calling in for dinner at a street side cafe. Like all India beer and wine are at a premium and not many places sell it. The bars are dark and dingy and the restaraunt expensive. We managed to find a “wine shop” down a really dingy back street that was frequented by old lushes, young lads and general unfortunates. We have used these before in India but they are normally in clear view on a busy street so passers by can jeer, look disgusted and throw rotten veg while you purchase the demon drink. I bought a couple of beers and a bottle of wine for Crispy much to the disdain of the onlookers. It’s a night in tonight as there is nowhere to go near our digs when night falls. There is a little garden but they are having works done so it’s a bit of a state. I’ll nip out and get some Thosa if Crispy gets peckish....

Ah well beer and cards it is...

Bare and Crispy signing off, Mumbai, India 🇮🇳

Where the feck are we?

A hard days travelling. It should have been easy but it has been a total faff.   We left George Town this morning after a couple of hours sorting the paperwork, checking the bags and an hour on the rooftop listening to the lion dancers and firecrackers strutting their stuff somewhere in the labyrinth of streets that make up the old quarter. We took a taxi to the airport as a treat as we had some ringit left over and once you leave Malaysia they are about as much use as Monopoly money. Easy check in, took off on time and arrived in KL on schedule. KL airport is massive. We hadn’t appreciated the scale of it so it came as a shock. We were really glad that we had left enough time to navigate the long distances involved. We had arrived at the domestic terminal which is easily twice the size of Ringway. Then we had to catch a train, the KLIA express, to the international terminal.  Once there it was a mad dash through multi levels and different areas to find check in for our airline. It’s a strange airport to negotiate. There is a world of choice as regards eating and drinking but once through security the choices are non existent.  Security was a breeze but as it took so long to get to departures time was slipping away. We thought we had made it with loads of time and then we hit the immigration office and passport control. It was manic and only a few immigration police to process the hundreds of passports. It took what felt like an age and once through there was only a short time before boarding.  We were hoping to eat here before the flight but that didn’t happen.
Malindo is a no frills budget airline similar to an Asian EasyJet. Cheap but efficient.  It was comfy with individual headrest entertainment consoles and the food for a change was available was excellent. 4 hours and fifteen minutes saw us touching down in Mumbai. Mumbai is nearly 10000 km west of KL so we are now in another time zone. Now we are only six and a half hours ahead of Greenwich mean time so we know we are getting home by degrees.
It was dark and relatively quiet at Mumbai airport and I knew where we needed to be for our accommodation was about an hour south in the Fort area of the city. Immigration went exceedingly smoothly for India. I had completely forgot about a visa for India and arranged last minute e-visas through an online company. We only received them a couple of days ago on the eye pad.  Via the medium of e-mail. India is on a big push to attract tourists at the moment. There are always travellers but they account for only a small percentage of the market.
The taxi drove for what seemed an eternity and eventually stopped outside a small dark alley. Everywhere was closed and in darkness. We didn’t have the slightest clue where we were when the taxi driver pointed down the small dark alleyway. I told Crispy to hold the taxi door open and on no account allow the guy to drive off. I didnt need to bother as a team of wild horses wouldn’t have been able to drag her off the cab until she was sure we had a refuge for the night.
 As luck would have it a passer by approached us and I asked him for the address. He escorted me up the alley and straight to our digs.
 It’s a strange one this. An old house run by a fashion designer that has converted some rooms into a Homestay. It’s pretty and quaint but in a remote part of town. The exact location doesn’t really matter as it’s impossible to navigate this city. It’s sprawling and distances are long. The rooms are comfortable and clean. Private bathroom. Everything we need. We are creatures of simple pleasures by now and Good old Crispy isn’t hard to please.

Bare and Crispy signing off, Feck knows where, Mumbai, India 🇮🇳

Penang to KL to Mumbai

It is a long travelling day today. Up, breakfast and backpacks sorted before setting off for Penang International airport. The initial plan was to overland back to KL before jetting off to Mumbai.

This would have meant a minimum 10 hour bus to KL then another hour bus to the airport. A long day at best a real faff at worst. We wouldn’t have gained anything as we still would have had no time to do anything in the city. 

A few days ago I changed plan and booked us a direct flight from Penang direct to KL with a 3 hour window before our next flight. It works out at around 25 pounds to fly rather than road and only takes an hour. A no brainer really. We fly Air Asia to KL then Malindo air to Mumbai. It’s only a five hour flight and gets us in to Mumbai at 22:20 (20:20 our current time zone) if it’s on time.

Were staying down near the Gateway to India close to Elephant Jetty so will have to get a taxi due to the arriving late. Everyday the pound exchange rate is improving as Brexit approaches. Bring it on...

Bare and Crispy signing off for the last time, Georgetown, Malaysia, en route to India....

Lions everywhere

It is our last day in Malaysia before setting off on the long journey home to Crispy HQ via Bombay.
Malaysia has, like Vietnam, been amazing. From the city life of Kl to the serenity and beauty of Pangkor to the vibrancy and colourful Georgetown we have travelled the length of this brilliant country. There are still many places inland that we need to see but we can save those for another adventure. Crispy has loved this place and has put it on her favourites list. That’s no surprise as every country in SE Asia we have ever been to is on the same list.
Today was a local day so we mopped up the sites around Georgetown we had not yet seen and stopped for a couple of drinks to celebrate the end of our main adventure. As we strolled around the old city we saw several Lion dances and different rituals connected with the new year. Crispy was lucky enough to catch a tangerine from the Lions mouth. A sure sign of prosperity in the coming year.
I am ignorant to Chinese religion and culture and have made a note to myself to try and learn more before we return. I did notice that a lot of Chinese people were

 wearing Micky Mouse T shirts. At first we didn’t see the connection but now it is obvious. They see Micky Mouse as Micky the Rat and as it is the year of the Rat it fits perfectly. Good old Micky the Rat... Disney would spin......


 We had a few things to sort today such as the confirmation of the flight to KL and the connecting flight to Mumbai. Also the E Visa for India came through today and it was a bit off a faff to get it printed out for tomorrow. We were lucky it came through in time or it would have been a bit crazy trying to get onward flights that avoided India at such short notice. It didn’t matter though God is good and we would have sorted an alternative if necessary. Indian immigration is s nightmare and they will not accept digital copies of any documentation. We arrive into Mumbai late and need to clear immigration as soon as possible without any messing around to get to our beds.
This evening we went back to the Hawkers market to eat. As expected it was superb. I counted the stalls an in total there are over 500 items on the various menus to choose from. I don’t think you could ever get bored of eating here. Plus the entertainment is interesting. Think Miss Saigon meets Pontins on acid. Still I had my photo taken with Mickey the Rat. Result

Late start tomorrow as it’s a long day travelling to India and the wonders of Bombay

Bare and Crispy signing off Georgetown. Malaysia 🇲🇾 

New Year’s Day.

This morning the streets were quiet. A little unnerving for an A city in South East Asia. There was not the usual madness of cars, scooters and people dragging carts and trolleys. More importantly to us there were no buses as I saw. The sun was out in all its glory and the temperature was touching 25 degrees at 8am. Suddenly from between the roof tops in the narrow streets below came the crashing of cymbals and banging of drums. Troops of lion dancers were making there way to the temples and local businesses. It seems you can pay to have these minstrel acrobats perform their “lion” show outside your business to ensure prosperity for the coming year. We watched one troop from our rooftop perform their ritual at the little hotel opposite. It is a mix of dance and acrobatics. The more you pay the longer and more energetic the performance. The young guys and girls dance leap and climb tables dressed in their amazing costumes. We will try and get some photos later.

Today we had planned on catching a bus to the Kek Lok Si temple complex outside of Georgetown on Penang Hill. It is the biggest Buddhist complex in the entire South East Asia region. A must see by all accounts. After breakfast we set out for the central bus terminus at Komtar. We were not sure if any buses would be running today but fingers crossed we made our way across town.
The buses were running as it turned out but on a reduced service. 2 ringit saw us on our way. As the services were reduced the bus was standing room only for the 30 minute ride to the temple.
The temple is massive. Over 100 temples all dedicated to Buddha in his many forms. Beautiful and serene but busy with devotees and tourists. The complex is still being added to and it was great to see and stroll around. It was hot. Very very hot but neither of us complained as we know in a few days we will be making our way back to good old Blighty and Crispy HQ.

After several hours we caught the bus back to Georgetown and strolled around the local area with a couple of cheeky beers thrown in. The backstreets of Georgetown are full of street art. A bit like a Malaysian Banksy has been let to run wild with his paint and brushes. They are very good and a big draw with the locals and tourists alike. We spent a while looking for these.

Tomorrow is our last day in Georgetown and I’m not sure what we are going to do yet. Something will present itself to stop Crispy getting bored. She’s easy to please, bless her.

We got a message from home yesterday and it seems that I have been awarded honours from Provincial Grand Lodge. I am now PPrSGD WBro Peter Idle. Wooooo get me. Feck knows how that happened but I am pleased to recieve it.

Bare and Crispy signing off, New Years Day, Georgetown, Malaysia 🇲🇾